Disney Takes me back

If anyone knows me, they know that I love three things, my family (and boy), football, and DISNEY! I don't think there is any place I'd rather be on earth than in Disney Land. Unfortuately, the funds and the time constraints are an issue. It doesn't stop me from creating my own little Disney paradise at home!

If I need a Disney fix, I play Disney trivia with my sister, mom and Blake. I think we've covered every fact and detail about Disney and DLR, so Blake, Ashlyn and I decided it was time to revisit our childhood adventures and start watching all the Disney animated movies again.

We started off with Snow White, which we all fell asleep to, but not before we sang along with the seven dwarfs and the little forest animals. Snow White was such a doll. Last night we watched Pinnochio. I didn't realize how inappropriate that movie was for children. No wonder I was scared of it! Between the constant cigar smoking, alcohol, Strombolli and the whole "Pleasure Island" scene, I don't know that my kids really need to see that one. Eh, it's debatable. Jiminy Cricket is adorable though! "After all, enough's enough!" haha we laughed so hard at that little cricket! Our next ones are Fantasia and then a tiny flying elephant (Dumbo).

Disney really knows how to make you feel like a child again. And I don't care that Blake makes fun of me or that I make a complete fool of myself, I will never stop being a kid and singing my heart out to "Whistle While You Work" and "When You Wish Upon A Star". It takes me back to the days of PBJ's and otter pops (which, by the way, are delicious at any age).

I look forward to Fantasia!!

Confessions of a shopaholic

I was doing so well. I would visit the malls and leave my credit card in the car. I would even go in with my credit card and not buy anything. Sometimes I would get as close as trying things on and walking out without a single purchase. I thought I was cured. And then summer hit. I had been working a couple more hours so my paychecks had increased. To the normal, money-saving mind, the excess funds would instantly be looked at as savings. Not to this mind though. I started looking at those extra dollars as a shopping allowance. For a while I set myself a limit each week of what I was allowed to spend on anything other than essentials. However, this quickly grew out of hand and each purchase was justified.

Blake tried to stop me. Ashlyn tried to stop me. My mom tried, but with no avail. I would think of things that I needed, like sunglasses. It's Arizona, it's hot, the sun is high in the sky 12 hours a day, sunglasses are a must! But of course none of my current sunglasses would suffice. Excuses began to accrue including things like too cheap, too tight on my nose, too big, too childish, doesn't match, I could make the list go on forever. This soon became my mind set. I remember this mindset from years ago when I was still living at my parents and had nothing to pay for except my phone bill. This meant my shopping budget was huge! I've learned to suppress the urge to shop by not going to shopping centers. However, I received several gift cards for my birthday in April and I had to use them. The people that gave them to me would have wanted that.

The first store I walked into instantly sparked the concealed urge to buy everything I saw. But I limited myself to the amount on the gift card. The 7-8 gift cards that all had at least $25-50 on them, were used within a couple days. I thought I would be ok, but I was not. After purchasing several shoes, dresses, blouses and shorts, I needed more. The smells of the new fabric and material sent me overboard. I was done for. No one could reason with me. The reason why I'm writing this is because I just checked my bank account and there are only a few dollars left in my checking account. Earlier this week there was over a $1000 and I had already paid for all my bills. I have a problem.

So... this is my confession. People always say, the first step to fixing a problem is to admit that you have one. I don't know where to go from here, but at least I know I have a problem. I've already taken half my stuff back to the stores, but it doesn't do anything for my urge to shop. So Blake is making me clean out my closet and sell my unwanted clothing to used name brand clothing stores because I need the money and I currently can't fit all of my clothing in my tiny closet.

Then maybe I'll have enough room and money to buy MORE clothes! =)

Fun in the Sun!

Arizona summers, without fail, promise to be scorching hot. This summer started off with nice breezes and a couple cold spells so I thought we were going to be off the hook for a couple months. I was wrong. It hit well over 100 this past week and it's only climbing higher every day. That means the only way to get cool without breaking the bank on A/C is to get wet! We've been having so much fun with the summer heat because not only does it bronze our pale skin, but it forces us to get in the water and enjoy our pools and lakes so much more. I recently moved into a new house with a pool so that's been nice, my dad has a pool, my mom's neighbors have a pool, Blake's parents have a pool, we have the nicest boat in the world to go to the lake whenever we want and the beach is only a couple of miles away. I have endless possibilities for soaking up the hot sun while simultaneously soaking in a cool pool of water.

Here are a couple highlights so far for our summer activities:

Longboarding down  the Newport Boardwalk

 Mission Beach with Katie

 Ashlyn's slip n' slide party

 Swimming at Dad's

 BBQ!

There's no crying in baseball!

My dad taught me a lot of things in my childhood. He taught me how to throw a ball, how to do a back tuck, how to overcome failure, how to never settle for less than the best, how to be grateful for what you have and to not take anything for granted. But the greatest thing my dad taught me is that I can do anything and be anything I want in this life. My dad called me Hollywood from a young age. I always told people it was because of the movie "Top Gun" because I had a crush on the fighter pilot with the same name. The real reason he called me that is because everything I did was Hollywood level, in his eyes. Anytime I would sing or dance or cheer or play sports, he thought I was the greatest.

So I would just like to thank my dad for teaching me that, no matter what happens in life, good, bad, or just plain awful, I will be able to overcome it and become the person I want to be. Even when he wasn't there, he was still teaching me things. I am grateful for a dad who believes in second and third and millionth chances and for a dad who believes in me no matter what happens. Happy Father's Day, dad!

Now for a person who is equally dear to my life...I love the song "Half the man that he didn't have to be" by Brad Paisley. It discusses a stepdad who stepped in and treated his stepson like one of his own kids, which is exactly what Darwin has done for me. Darwin was there for us when we needed him most and has been there ever since. I couldn't have asked for a better man to be the glue to hold this family together. When we just couldn't do it anymore, and we had met our limits, God sent us an incredible man to help pull it together. I can't even begin to tell Darwin how much I appreciate what he's done for my family. Happy Father's Day to a man who was there for me through thick and thin and always will be.

Gettin' back on the horse!

Someone once told me, failure is a gift. Failure makes us stronger. Failure is the only way we can learn, grow and overcome our weaknesses. I am so grateful for the failures I've done in the past couple months, because without them, the greatest thing in my life, wouldn't exist.

I won't go into detail of when or how or why things happened the way they did, that's not the important part. But recently, I was engaged to an incredible guy. One who has changed my life for the better in more ways than he'll ever know. Unfortunately, Heavenly Father doesn't always give us the answers we want to hear and I sadly had to call the engagement off two weeks before the wedding. I regret the way it happened and the incredibly weak will I had at the time to not do it sooner for both our sakes, but what's done is done and we both survived...barely.

For weeks I was a complete zombie and wondered if I'd ever be able to be happy or feel anything again for that matter. Then I met Blake. We actually had met before I ever started dating my ex-fiance at a bonfire one night. We threw a football around for hours down by the lake with some mutual friends and ended up being facebook friends for a while. Nothing ever transpired though because he had just come out of an intense relationship and I wasn't ready to date just yet. Two years later he randomly messaged me on facebook one night just to see how I was doing. We talked for a while and then ended up hanging out a couple nights. I noticed he took away the sting of the pain temporarily, so I kept asking him to hang out. Selfishly, I used him to fill the gaping hole in my chest that remained from my previous relationship. After months of tense dates and a very awkward kiss on the cheek, I was finally able to feel real happiness. He's been by my side ever since. We've been through hell and back in the beginning stages of our relationship and survived and are now stronger than ever. I know it's not over, but I can now confidently say that no matter what happens, we will make it through and stick with each other through anything.

I look forward to the obstacles and trials that will come our way, because now we are stronger than ever. Bring it on!!