Decisions, Decisions

After going through everything with Blake, and taking a step back with our relationship, there have been several questions people have asked me. 

One of the most common questions is, "why don't you go to graduate school now that things aren't working out with you and Blake?"

Grad school has always been my dream. I've always wanted to further my education and make sure I have a stable career so that I can always support myself. I've always dreamed of getting out of Arizona and living on my own for a couple years while I try to better my future. I love learning and I have always seen myself as a student. I would love so much to be on the beaches of Miami right now getting ready to attend Florida International as a graduate student. 

It seems like everything happened for a reason. Like it was perfect timing for me to go and be on my own for a while. 

But then I realized an even bigger dream of mine. The man I love more than anything on this earth is willing to figure things out in our relationship and give it another chance. He is my bigger dream. Spending the rest of my life with him outweighs any other dream I've ever had. Being with him is the happiest I've ever been. 

So let me just clarify, I'm not giving up any dream. I'm simply letting one dream go so I can have a better one come true. If there is a chance to make things work with Blake and have a family with him, then grad school doesn't even matter anymore. If things don't work out, I will have no regrets. Because I will be able to look back and know that I gave my all to the dream I've wanted since before this life. 

I love Blake. I love the fact that he's stronger than me. He's strong enough to overlook all of the politics and the outside pressure of a wedding and a marriage. I'm weak in that area. I'm so proud of him for making his own decisions. I'm so proud to know that I have a man who will not rush into anything without really thinking it through.

So when I got two calls from two different graduate programs saying that the deadlines are passing soon and they need to know my decision of whether or not I'm going to attend, I didn't even think twice about turning them down. A wise bishop once told me that "God has to close one door for him to open up another one."

Thank you, Blake. I love you for helping me make this decision. 

- Megan